X Post: Ain't NOTHIN like a azz whoopin.......

So ummm - my daughter is 10.  She's had an issue keeping her room and bathroom neat and tidy forever..... we've battled and battled over it - I have threatened, rewarded, lectured, whatever. 

Well, my mom offered to help - she felt like I needed some help (she's right) and she's almost retired, she's got time - so she's been working with babygirl on organization and whatnot.  This Christmas, she purchased new bedroom furniture - let babygirl pick it out so she'd have 'pride of ownership'...... the promise was to keep things up.

Welllllllll -  babygirl has slid back in to old habits.  And I have been on the warpath.  No TV in the room.  No computer, no TV in the den in the morning until you're ready for school - blah blah blah.  Well babygirl has been in 'Fuck you Mama' mode......(high pitched tone)ok........hasn't been following **** I say and coping attitude....ok.....

My mother needed me to do her hair, so I told her to come over today - babygirl had soccer after school, so she could meet me at my house - when she saw babygirl's room......wooooo CHILE........ I went and got babygirl from practice - she was all happy - told her my mama was at the house......

  <----- that would be her.  "Not THAT *****!" - I could read that thought ALL over her face....

So when we got in, my mother asked me to go get her planner out of the car, I KNEW what that meant - her planner has a long leather carry strap....... I retreived it, gave it to her and told her I'd be right back (I had to go across the street to do my neighbor's shot)......when I came back - only hollerin could be heard.......along with snippets of conversation - notable quotes:

"Did you wash your clothes this weekend?"
"Yes"
"Then why do you have so many clothes in the dirty clothes hamper?  It's only half into the week."
"Cause I found some other clothes"
"FOUND?  How did you FIND clothes?  Did your mom BUY clothes for you this weekend?
"No"
"Then how the hell do you FIND clothes?  So - you didn't get all your clothes together to wash like you should have"
~blank stare~

Then there was:
"Why is the trash can full?"
"Cause I haven't emptied it"
"And why hasn't it been emptied?"
"Cause it just will get full again"
"NO ****  That's why it's called emptying the trash can"

Am I wrong for listening around the corner and   cause she NEVER thought she'd get an ambush asswhoopin??????

  where's my drank???  Imma sit my ass on the sofa and RELAX - if you want yo mama to warn and protect you from a granny ass whoopin - you should respect MY author-ra-tie  or I WILL let yo ass get ****** UP by yo granny!!!!!!!!

**disclaimer: no chillens was actually truly harmed as a result of the actions herein - however - one bedroom in Houston TX is getting cleaner than a MOFO right now**

Will your Mom travel and how much does she charge???  I have a 14-year old that makes me want to beat her until I draw blood!  I HATE uncleanliness.

LMAO!!!!  It ain't just the ass whoopin - my mama TALKS to yo ass during - and that ***** can break a mofo's HEART!!!!!!

I don't let her loose on babygirl often.......cause I know what that can feel like.......but **** it - SHE EARNED THIS ONE. 

And I be right in the doorway talking about ALL the **** babygirl did/said before hand - she gives all the right answers NOW - I'm reciting every bull**** line....... and I know she thinkin in the back of her mind "I can't BELIEVE this heffa let this bytch ova here and ain't tell me"

HAHAHA!!!

my momma comes over regularly to snap crackel, pop on my kids...she says stuff like, " hell nall...yall fuckn with MY BABY"...ill yell to the kitchen, "one of all get me a glass of while"...before the ine comes out, she says, NOW"...  when i get full of doing my momma thing, my mamma is just waiting for her call...gotta love it ^5 to yo momma...

I don't know nothing about no babies. 

   Use all the resources you've got.  It takes a village and an ass kicking granny to raise a child.

nothin wrong with laying the down the "smack", Mack!!

Mack,

Your momma is an "ol' school" momma. LOL  Whoop a little, talk a little.  Then there is "one whoop per word".  I don't know which is worse.  Oh well, whatever it takes to get the job done, right?

Kim 

I must meet your Mom real soon...I am on the floor over here

Spare the rod, spoil the child. Mine got her azz beat and she's all the better for it!